Sams Wish list

I want to ride on an ostridge/emu(he said both at different times).

I want to climb a palm tree and cut off a coconut.

I want to make duct tape shoes.

I want five gallons of horchada to drink on the way home.

I want a baby pig.

Etc.

Funnies

When my math teacher was explaining the square root of -4,
"You may not have heard of imaginary numbers, but they DO exist"

When my sister came up to me and my dad doing yard work,
"Watch out, I'm helping"

When my friend Anders bit into one of those cream filled ball desert things,
"Hey, these rolls have stuff in them!"

I collected these in three days, I'll report back later with more if more than two people request it.

Don't read this post unless you have seen the twilight movie, or if you already know the entire plot (resoloution and all) , or just don't care at all

Last night I went to see Twilight. I thought it did a pretty good job, considering how hard the movie would be to make, but I didn't like their choice of actors. The Jacob is kind of how he should be at the end of the fourth, but not at the very beginning! And I wanted Jasper to be odd and withdrawn, but not that weird! Alice was just totally looked totally off, and she was kind of awkward. The worst part was the camera man, though. At the end of a seen, it looked like he feinted or something, because it would either pan up or pan down for no reason at all. The movie did follow the book pretty well, though. Apart from the actors and the filming, it was great.

What did you think about the movie?

Awesome Movie

My neighbor has to make a movie script and film a trailer of the movie for a project in school. Here is the trailer, and he'll make the whole thing eventually, also. He is trying to get 1000 views (I was number 106 :), so it would be much appreciated if you could spread the word, and also tell me what you think so I can tell him. Thanks!

Change

No, this is not another pro-Obama post. I'm talking about e-mail. Why can't they leave comcast alone??? It is fine how it is, stop making improvements!!!!
If your e-mail provider is better than mine, maybe I should fill you in on the problems. It started like this. I learned how to use an e-mail account. Then I spend five months developing habbits, finding short-cuts, and getting used to my life on the internet. Then, they make one small annoying change. Then, I get used to getting around that change, etc. Then they change it back again. And again.And again. Then, They make a totally huge ginormous change, which affects every aspect of my e-mail acount. Then they start the whole thing over again.

Lemon Meringue Torture

Everybody loves lemon meringue pie. Except the cook. Me and my mom just made this delectable dessert. We started by burning a pie crust. Then, we spilled 2/3 cups of hard earned-fresh squeezed lemon juice. We mixed that with shredded lemon peel (with a tinge of thumb blood) to a suger and egg yolks gel, carefully burning ourselves on the side of the pot. Then we whipped egg whites, vanilla, and some other things ( I can't remember) with a tiny bit of shell, for four minutes too long. We then (un)evenly spread that over the burnt suger egg yolks lemon peel lemon juice jell, which we had poured too quickly into the pie crusts, one raw and one burnt. Now, I believe, we are burning it (again) in the oven, followed by neglecting to take it out of the fridge. Then we will eat our burnt-frozen-crumbly-too moist-lemon-meringue pie.

Let's Talk Politics

Here's two political cartoons I made myself.

Obama's acceptance speech.

(picture of Obama) -And now, I will CHANGE
my political views. I nolonger believe in CHANGE,
but in the CHANGE of CHANGE. So I take back
everything I said during my campaign.

Mcain's acceptance speech.


(picture of Mcain) -And now I,
blechhhh...(heart attack)

(picture of Palin)- I WON!!!!


2. As refering to a precedency, pres-id-ent-ial-ly, (adv.)
Pres-id-ent-ial Cam-pai'gn, (noun)A bunch of idiots saying
mean things about each other.
Pres-id-ent-ial Gov-ern-ment, (noun) a Government with a president.

The Next Laws of Physics

I guess this is a lot like my philosophies one.

1. All squirrels are ninjas.

2. All ninjas are awesome.

3. Nine year old boys like legos.

4. Kicking your locker doesn't open it.

5. The chicken came first.

6. The toxic waste will have positive side affects.

7. If you put a teenage boy with a teenage girl, they will flirt.

8. Vomit is gross.

9. If you are mad at someone, kicking them then eating a pound of chocolate will make it all better.

Last, but not least,
10. Vote republican, unless Obama's running, then vote for him.

Argh! Avast, Mateys!

Yep.


It's today.


This is it.


Today.


Right Now.


It's INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY (ALSO KNOWN AS PIRATE DAY)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

short stories 3

This is my prequel to W.W. Jacobs's short story "The Monkey's Paw."

CURSES IN BOMBAY

Sergeant Major Morris was in Bombay when he got the paw. He was on guard duty, walking through the jungle, when he saw someone in a clearing. He looked like a monk from one of the nearby temples, and he had something in his hand. As Morris neared, the man mumbled something, and suddenly he fell down. Morris ran the rest of the way to the man, and saw that he was dead. Clutched in his hand was a severed monkey paw. Morris picked it up.

As Morris walked away, it started raining. The sergeant mumbled something about how he wished it would get dryer. Suddenly, the paw moved in Morris's hand. Dismissing it as a figment of his overactive imagination, he kept walking. As he continued, the land started getting dryer. By the time he got back to base, everything was desert.

Later in the mess hall, Morris started thinking about what had happened. It seemed as if the paw had had something to do with the abrupt change in climate. To experiment with this theory, he tried to reverse the problem. He picked up the paw and wished that it would rain again. Then he got in bed, half laughing at himself for believing something so ridiculous. He went to sleep.

He was in the middle of a nice dream when he was awoken by an odd feeling; he looked around and saw that he was almost covered in water! He looked out of his tent, and saw that the entire base except his tent had been washed away in a flood. He hastily grabbed the monkey paw and wished that none of the wishes he had ever made had come true. As soon as he said it, three things happened. First, he felt suddenly like the paw would never work for him again, and that he must passit on as soon as possible. It was as if it wanted to go to someone else. Second, the entire base was back to normal. Finally, he remembered vividly, on one of his birthdays, he blew out the candles and wished that one day he would have a small, happy family. That wish had come true. He ran to a phone and called his family. There was no answer.

One month later, Sergeant Major Morris was permitted to go home. The first thing he did was look for his family before giving up. They were gone. It was as if they had never existed. The next thing he did was half unintentional. He had heard a couple myths from the natives about the monkey paw. Now he was prepared to give it to someone and tell them how it worked. It was a good thing, too, because after his last wish, his need to pass it on only increased. Here was his chance. He found himself walking up the long driveway to his good friend, Mr. White's house. He knocked on the door.

Oaks Park

"THE DISKO" I'm farthest on the left.

Yesterday, my family went to an amusement park called Oaks Park--it's the big library summer reading reward. It was really hot, but still fun. The first thing I went on was a roller coaster with a loop-the-loop and lots of bumps and sideways parts. Then I went on a ride shaped kind of like a "u". It want back and forth while spinning. The next one was the best. It was a round platform with an eight foot wall around it. You stood against the wall with barely any safety straps or anything. Then it got spinning really fast and tilted to a 70 degree angle, so sometimes you felt like you were laying on the ceiling of a room. The force of the spinning motion was all that was keeping you from falling 50 feet. It was awesome. There were several other rides, but the only other cool one was called the Screamin' Eagle. It was like a big pendulum, and you sat on a diskish thing at the bottom. It started spinning and swinging back and forth. The ride had the capability to swing all the way around, but it never did. It got pretty close, though. Overall, it was four and a half stars.

short stories 2

I wrote this one several years ago, so bare with me.

Long ago in The Forest of Holidays, in the den of the Easter Bunnies, every one was getting ready for Easter.

Not only was it their favorite holiday, not only was it the next day, but there was an even more exiting reason to work so hard. This was the year the grand bunny would decide who would be the next grand bunny!

Suddenly a loud voice announced, “I have decided the next grand bunny!” Everyone turned to look at the Grand Bunny, with his spectacles and long white whiskers.

He continued in his wise old voice, “However, I can’t find him, so I picked another one. Alas, the other rabbit is gone as well! So I’ve decided someone has to find them, and that will be Billy Bunny. Here is a picture of them.”

Billy Bunny nervously stepped forward and took the picture from the Grand Bunny’s paw.

“Where do you suggest I look first, oh wise bunny?” asked Billy in his soft, shaking voice.

“In the opposite day pool might help,” answered the Grand Bunny. “When you get there, dive in and you’ll be in opposite land. Then find the opposite Easter Bunny den. They should be there.”

“I’m on my way!” said Billy Bunny, a lot braver now.

“Be careful Billy, the opposite Easter Bunnies hate Easter, and everything else we stand for!”

“Got it, sir.” Said Billy, and of he went.

Ten minutes later, Billy arrived. “OK, here goes.” He said as he closed his eyes and jumped. SPLASH! A shock of icy water surrounded him. Then, THUD! He hit the ground.

He opened his eyes. He was lying on the ground by the opposite opposite lake. “Attack!” screamed a soft voice. The next thing Billy Bunny knew, he was blindfolded and tied to a tree.

“Now you will never save Ronald Rabbit and Jackie Jump!” Said the voice. His attackers left him, cold, wet, tied up and confused.

He regained his senses and began at once to work on the knots. “Finally! I escaped from the ropes!”

Billy looked around him. He was at the mouth of the opposite Halloween cave. He turned around. What he thought was a tree was, well, a tree with a face that was asleep. “You OK, Billy?” a voice came out of nowhere.

Billy looked into the caves again. His eyes adjusted to the dark. He saw two rabbits tied to the ceiling.

It was Ronald and Jackie!

Billy quickly ran over and untied them. “How did you know my name?” He asked.

“Easy!” they answered.

“You see,” They continued, “being the Grand Bunny’s right and left paw bunnies, he gave us this task. We were sent to test the new grand bunny’s courage!”

“I’m the new grand bunny?!” exclaimed the exited Billy.
“Yeah, so you better get ready, you have a lot of eggs to hide tomorrow!

THE END

What do you think?

Mr. Monk

Monk is the name of the awesomest t.v. show ever. The cover of season one says it all:
Obsessive
Compulsive
Detective
It is basically a show about a detective that has OCD, a photographic memory, and about 100 phobias. It is really funny and interesting and scary etc. Mr. Monk solves a murder mystery in every episode, weather the crime happened the day he gets there or three years before. It is really awesome.

Has anyone else ever heard of it? Does anyone think they know of a better t.v. show?

3,2,1, SUMMER!...I'm bored.

It happens every year, the first week of summer is awesome, second is cool, the third is nice and relaxing, then the rest are just boring. I'm not complaining, bored is preferable to stressed out of you senses, but it's just funny how little of your goals are accomplished, or even started, at the middle of the summer. I have barely even started planning my curb-painting business more than what I posted earlier. Oh well, at least I had a little bit of fun going along with little bits of plans. And I've had tons of fun sleeping. ;)

Does anyone agree?

Camp Baldwin

Late Friday night, I got home from Scout camp. Like last year, we went to Camp Baldwin, which is known by many boy scouts for its man made/heated lake. The down-side is that it is at 5000 ft. elevation, so if your camp sight is at the top of a hill (mine wasn't called "high prairie" for nothing), then you'll be wheezing by the time you get to the top.
Apart from the elevation, the only bad thing about camp was the dust and the food. The food would actually be pretty good, because you cook it yourself. The only problem is that they have horrible ingredients. The cheese they gave us made McDonald's look like Tillamook.
While I was at camp, I went on two overnight things were I slept under the stars. One was an astronomy thing, and the other was an awesome horse ride. It had a total of about two hours of riding, and if you had a good horse like mine, it was really fun. the horses knew the way and would just follow the horse in front of them.
Overall, I think that camp was great, but I've never been to another one to compare t to. If you've been to a scout or girls camp, please give me some insight on what others are like.

To the Figments of my Imagination: Deep Thoughts from a Teenager

I was planning on using this title for a book, but oh well. As the title suggests, this post will hopefully get you thinking.

Deep Thought One- Imagine this. You are a regular, sane person walking through an asylum. You see someone in a rubber room that is acting perfectlly normal, except they are talking to, dodging, and otherwise interacting with imaginary things that aren't there. You realize that the person is having a bizarrely accurate hallucination. Now imagine this. You're the guy in the rubber room, hallucinating a mock life.

Deep Thought Two-What if you lived your whole life with faulty color perception. What if the color that you call red, and that I call red, looks like what I call yellow to you?


To be continued...

Short Stories

My Mom is always nagging me to write on my blog, but I can never think of anything to write about. So I decided to share some of my short stories that I write. So I am going to start with one of my favorite styles of writing that doesn't have a name yet.

Once upon a time, there was this boy named Freddie. Caterpillar's dietary habits differ depending on their elevation and habitat. Freddie was in Mr. Brown's ninth grade class. He will get a peg leg soon. Sally's dress has lace on it. Freddie went with his friend Rupert to get some ice cream. The Prime Meridian crosses England, as well as 52 North. Mr. Brown told his daughter, Sally, about Freddie's leg. The ice cream was rotten and had food poisoning. The peg leg maker was crazy, and he thought that he was the Hulk. Pi = 3.14159265478. Freddie got a small cut on his foot. The ice cream man was crazy too, and he thought that Freddie was William the Conquerer, so he decided to assassinate Freddie. The only even prime number is 2. Rupert was in love with Sally. Freddie's ice cream fell on his foot with the cut. Dr. Frankenstein was perfectly sane, but he thought he was crazy and he tried not to act like Dr. Frankenstein. The doctor who thought he was crazy amputated Freddie's foot. Energy equals mass times the square velocity of light in centimeters (E=MC2).


Morale: Don't mix up your notes.
Alternate Morale: Don't spill poisonous ice cream.

Summer Plans

This summer I want to mostly just relax and play Wii. My mom had a genius idea that was just too good to resist, though. I am going to make money by painting on sidewalk curbs!! Fire fighters use the address on the curbs to find the burning houses faster, so I could paint the numbers on all of the curbs! You have to admit, that is a pretty good idea.

P.S. If any of you are interested, just give me a call. Except for Grant and Carl and anyone else in Utah.

2018

It's 2018. I am 23, and a recently returned missionary. I am dating a girl I met in physics class, during the electricity lab. There were sparks.

I am a diligent student at BYU Provo, and my roommate is awesome. I like to run marathons in my spare time, and I am a decent swimmer. I won't win any physical competitions, though.

I used to work part-time at Cold Stone Creamery and Century Movie Theater, and now I work in the BYU book store. I am writing my first book on how to stop global warming (I have several ideas).

I have written several songs that the garage band I am the lead singer of has performed. Maybe you've heard of us: "Da mowmons."

That is were I hope to be in 2018. Although that probably won't happen because the Aztecs predicted doomsday as December 13, 2013. Or somewhere around there. And you should never underestimate the Aztecs.

MOVIE QUIZ

O.K. I'm am pretty good at memorizing lyrics to songs and words to movies. Just to see who is the second best (after me, of course), I am going to have a quiz on the best movies I have seen. Pictures of the answers are at the bottem. Just put your answers as comments to this post.

1."You wash your hands on your own time, boy!"

2."While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?"

3."You could be drinking whole if you wanted."

4."I need to borrow some sweats."

5."Sorry about the mess."


A. B. C. D. E.

Game sites

I am sorry that I haven't blogged for a month (give or take a few days), but I just haven't been motivated. I have a really good web sight to recommend. It is called one more level .com and it is really awesome (sorry about the blue line, the computer doesn't understand that the link is over). The best games are on strategy, but the classic and sport ones are all right. On strategy, their are two types of games that I like, ones where you captain an army, and ones were you shoot bugs that are attacking your picnic (okay, I admit, their's only one of those). The captain of an army ones (in level of funnness(awkward word)) are Feudalism, Age of War, and Genghis Khan. The other game is Ant Buster. I could take a long time describing all the games, but I'll just keep it short.

Feudalism- You start with five soldiers, a sword, and a bow with unlimited arrows. Build up your army and conquer cities. Bonus points if you can figure out how to use the bow (but only if you tell me).

Age of War- Start out as cave men with sticks or dinosaurs, evolve until you control levitating tanks and laser-chainsaw wielding robots.

Genghis Khan- Build armies and complete missions, kind of a primitive Feudalism

Ant Buster- Build cannons and destroy super strong ants (it takes eight of them to steel your cake. If they survive your cannons mwahaha/...)

Let me know what games you like.

Out of the Running

I am very sad to say that I lost my battle yesterday. It was my first loss ever, and I have been battling since fourth grade! The other team got easier questions than we did, and unfortunately it was single elimination. At least I made it to the semi-finals and read some great books.

Monday Battle

I just got home from school, and I am happy to report that my team beat 'The Book Slayers" 50 to 25, and on Wednesday I battle "The Team". If I win that, it's on to the final round!

Battle of the Books Tournament

My team has had our first two battles, but I forgot to report on them. We won our first battle 57 to 33, and our second battle 55 to 15. The way they pick who will be in the finals is they take the teams with the most points and they're in the tournament round, so it is better to lose with 3o points than to win with 20. My team was probably the best seventh grade team, and we had twice as many points as the highest sixth grade team. What they did this year was take the top twelve teams overall from both grades, and only about three of those teams were seventh grade. My team doesn't battle until the second round, but the tournament has been going on for a while and we get to battle on Monday. They had eight teams in the first round, but I don't know the results of their battles yet.

I have something really funny to report. My school is split into 9 groups, 3 for each grade. Last year my group was called the Tamaracks, and my B.of.B team was called the Tier One Tamaracks. This year my team is called the Tier One Tamaracks II. Here's the funny part. One of the sixth grade teams named themselves "the Unknown Legendary Conquerers Of The Tier One Tamaracks II"! I don't even know any one on their team!! I hope my team gets to battle them, but it would have to be the final battle because they are on the other side of the bracket.

I'll report on my Monday battle as soon as I get home from school.

Math Counts

As if battle of the books and petitions weren't enough, I'm in a club/competition called Math
Counts. We meet every Monday after school, and just race to do math problems for an hour, either in pairs or as individuals. At the end the winner gets something like a candy bar or a cookie. Later, there will be a district-wide competition. The best team of four and the best four individuals (you get to pick which you are-team or alone) get to go to state, then those winners go to nationals, and you get awesome stuff just for getting to that point! If you win the nationals, you get a scholarship, you shake hands with the president, and other sweet stuff(I think there's also a laptop!!!). I hope/ plan to get to state, and nationals would be awesome!

My math program's problems

Today, after school, me and two of my friends interviewed a school board member for a merit badge. The requirement is to find a problem in your community, find out who is responsible for it, and ask them what you can do to change it. None of us three liked our school's math curriculum, and we knew somebody who turned out to be able to help change it, so we interviewed her about it. We learned that with the current curriculum, most people will have to take summer school to even get into a good college! Even worse, if the math curriculum doesn't get re-made by September (which is almost impossible), then it will be to late for my grade. It is to late to re-write the curriculum, but there is a way. No teacher is allowed to teach something they haven't been trained to teach, but most of them have been trained to teach the old math program, along with our current one. If the principal of our school knows about the problem, she can have every one teach the old program. At the moment, though, she doesn't think there is a problem. So me and my friends are starting an underground petition at our school. This may seem like a bad idea, but this seems like the perfect way to have fun for some one like me.

My uncle can run farther than your uncle

My uncle, Neil Olsen, is literally one of the best runners in America. He used to run marathons with his daughter, my cousin, but lately he has been doing a lot longer races than that. A few months ago( I think), he ran a fifty mile race, and won for his age group. After that, he signed up for a race that was over 60 miles!!! Now heres the sad part. He had wanted to beat the previous champion who had done the race several times. He was ahead and he would of won, but some dodo switched a sign so it pointed the wrong way! He and several other people got lost and ended up traveling about 70 miles, and many people just gave up. Neil kept going, though and ended up passing several people that had gone the right way. Even so, he broke his streak of never walking across the finish line.

Short summaries of some books

Some people asked for descriptions of the books, and I guess two requests is enough to respond.

• Star Girl-A totally weird, crazy girl moves into town, and at first the main character acts like every one else. That stops, though, when he falls in love with her and she shows him her world.
• Code Orange-A New York kid is looking for a contagious disease to do his science report on, when he finds some scabs from a Variola Major epidemic. He soon learns a more commen name for the virus he has handled. Smallpox.
• Uglies-In a futuristic world, every one waits for their 16th birthday so they can get the wonderful operation that will make them freakishly beautiful and join in on the non stop fun of "New Pretty Town". When a girl that has grown up being taught that she was ugly and that evolution and biology demand she be perfected to look good is only weeks away, though, she meets a friend that changes her outlook completely.
• The Lightning Thief-Takes place in a modern-day world were the Greek gods still exist. The main character is Poisiden's son, and when he realizes who he is, he is sent to Camp Half-Blood, a summer camp that trains demi-gods how to use their powers and protect them selfs.
• Kite Rider-A young Chinese boy lives in a time when it is custom for boats to fly a manned kite to see if the journey will be prosperous. But he his surprised one day to see his own father on the kite! When the kite comes down, his father is dead. One thing leads to another, and he finds himself on a kite making money for a circus.
• Touching Spirit Bear-A criminal kid always gets out of trouble because his dead is rich. But he gets in real deep trouble when almost kills a classmate. He has given a choice between jail or temporary banishment. He ends up on an uninhabited Alaskan island doing morning exersizes to "heal his soul".
• Among the Hidden-In this world, being a third child is punishable by death. That is exactly what the main character is. He was okay for a while, but then his large forest of a backyard was cut down and developed. Now he is stuck inside his house 24/7. That changed when he made a new friend who showed him a new way of living.
  

Battle of the Books BOOKS

Here is a list of the battle books(see last post). The green ones are those that I have read, and they are rated 1-5(if I have read them). (sorry about the color mistakes, such as purple dots)

• Airborne by Kenneth Oppel
  
• Cages by Peg Kehret * * *
  
• Code Orange by Caroline B. Cooney * * * * *
  
• Code Talker by Joseph Bruchac
  
• Criss Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins * * *
  
• Eleanor's Story Eleanor Ramrath Garner
  
• Flush by Carl Hiaasen
  
• Kite Rider by Geraldine McCaughrean * * * *
  
• The Lightning Thief by Rick Riodan * * * * *
  
• Princess Academy by Shannon Hale * * * *
  
• Shadow Spinner by Susan Fletcher * * * * *
  
• Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli * * * *
  
• Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen * * * *
  
• Uglies by Scott Westerfeild * * * * *
  
• Under the Blood Red Sun by Graham Salisbury * * * *
  
• Among the Hidden by Margaret Petersen Hadix * * * *
  

Battle of the Books

At my old elementary school they had a competition called "battle of the books." It consisted of teams of four trying to answer questions about a list of preassigned books before the opposing team could. Only forth and fifth graders could enter, and I did both years. My team won both years, in our school and a rival school. I was surprised that my new middle school did it my sixth grade year, but I got a team together in time and we won! I was even more surprised, though that my seventh grade language arts teacher was willing to support battle of the books for the whole school just for me and my friend. This time it was my friend that organized a team and turned the papers in on time. Things were looking great until I realized that for one, I didn't have a list of the books yet, two, the battles were only two months away, and three, I had two days to get the list from someone if I wanted to make any progress over winter break! I ended up having to call someone to get the list, and by then I only had about a month to read as many of the books as possible. My mom figured out that I had to read two books a week to finish them in time, and these are some pretty decent sized books. It is six days later and I'm about 20 hours ahead of schedule, so I'm off to a good start. I'll keep you posted on how the battles go, but that's going to be in February, so I'll think of something else to write about in the mean time.

Twilight Series

I think that anyone who hasn't yet and doesn't have plans to read the Twilight series needs to hire a therapist and re-think their life. I'm exited for Breaking Dawn (book 4), but my honest opinion is hurry it up and turn Bella into a vampire already, Stephenie! I am looking forward to the Twilight movie, but I also think that it could totally kill the book and be horrible. I recently found out that the actor for Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter will play Edward!!! Me, my Mom, and Stephanie Meyer are all thrilled!! You can learn more about the books and movie at the author's website.

Free Rice for the Hungry

I accidentally found my mom's blog a little while ago and read it. I liked it, so I'm gunna take a stab at it. I recently found out about a website called freerice.com that has me totally addicted with its vocabulary questions. Every time you get a question right, they donate 20 grains of rice to starving people in Africa. Thats about all for now, but I'll come back soon.

Let me know if you like it!