I guess this is a lot like my philosophies one.
1. All squirrels are ninjas.
2. All ninjas are awesome.
3. Nine year old boys like legos.
4. Kicking your locker doesn't open it.
5. The chicken came first.
6. The toxic waste will have positive side affects.
7. If you put a teenage boy with a teenage girl, they will flirt.
8. Vomit is gross.
9. If you are mad at someone, kicking them then eating a pound of chocolate will make it all better.
Last, but not least,
10. Vote republican, unless Obama's running, then vote for him.
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5 comments:
Forget the kicking, just eat the chocolate.
"More like a nu-ja. Terrible what passes for a ninja these days." - Pops Racer.
For get the chocolate, just eat the squirrel.
Your uncles have a huge humorous streak. I loved your list. Most of them are spot on. However, on #6, what positive side effects could there be? With #10, Sarah Palin tips the balance for me.
Grandma
#3 Actually, 44-year-old boys like legos too. (Of course, mine have motors and gears and robot controllers, but they're still legos!)
#4 just depends on how hard you kick. Or you might make it never open again... not that I condone that sort of thing.
#6 Everyone'll have three eyes in the future. It'll be all the rage.
#7 Don't even want to think about that (putting fingers in ears la-la-la-la-la-la-la-i-can't-hear-you). I have a whole year before Ken turns 13 and I'll stay in denial all the way up to the teenager thing.
#8 Not if it's bee vomit. Yum. Or certain products from the Whizzo Chocolate Company.
#10. Dare you to say that at church. :)
On #7 that is debatable. If you are mad at some one kicking can help but the chocolate? Why not their blood? And vote for Neil. You're cool. Oh eating a pound of chocolate would make you throw up.
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