Let's Talk Politics

Here's two political cartoons I made myself.

Obama's acceptance speech.

(picture of Obama) -And now, I will CHANGE
my political views. I nolonger believe in CHANGE,
but in the CHANGE of CHANGE. So I take back
everything I said during my campaign.

Mcain's acceptance speech.


(picture of Mcain) -And now I,
blechhhh...(heart attack)

(picture of Palin)- I WON!!!!


2. As refering to a precedency, pres-id-ent-ial-ly, (adv.)
Pres-id-ent-ial Cam-pai'gn, (noun)A bunch of idiots saying
mean things about each other.
Pres-id-ent-ial Gov-ern-ment, (noun) a Government with a president.

The Next Laws of Physics

I guess this is a lot like my philosophies one.

1. All squirrels are ninjas.

2. All ninjas are awesome.

3. Nine year old boys like legos.

4. Kicking your locker doesn't open it.

5. The chicken came first.

6. The toxic waste will have positive side affects.

7. If you put a teenage boy with a teenage girl, they will flirt.

8. Vomit is gross.

9. If you are mad at someone, kicking them then eating a pound of chocolate will make it all better.

Last, but not least,
10. Vote republican, unless Obama's running, then vote for him.

Argh! Avast, Mateys!

Yep.


It's today.


This is it.


Today.


Right Now.


It's INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY (ALSO KNOWN AS PIRATE DAY)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

short stories 3

This is my prequel to W.W. Jacobs's short story "The Monkey's Paw."

CURSES IN BOMBAY

Sergeant Major Morris was in Bombay when he got the paw. He was on guard duty, walking through the jungle, when he saw someone in a clearing. He looked like a monk from one of the nearby temples, and he had something in his hand. As Morris neared, the man mumbled something, and suddenly he fell down. Morris ran the rest of the way to the man, and saw that he was dead. Clutched in his hand was a severed monkey paw. Morris picked it up.

As Morris walked away, it started raining. The sergeant mumbled something about how he wished it would get dryer. Suddenly, the paw moved in Morris's hand. Dismissing it as a figment of his overactive imagination, he kept walking. As he continued, the land started getting dryer. By the time he got back to base, everything was desert.

Later in the mess hall, Morris started thinking about what had happened. It seemed as if the paw had had something to do with the abrupt change in climate. To experiment with this theory, he tried to reverse the problem. He picked up the paw and wished that it would rain again. Then he got in bed, half laughing at himself for believing something so ridiculous. He went to sleep.

He was in the middle of a nice dream when he was awoken by an odd feeling; he looked around and saw that he was almost covered in water! He looked out of his tent, and saw that the entire base except his tent had been washed away in a flood. He hastily grabbed the monkey paw and wished that none of the wishes he had ever made had come true. As soon as he said it, three things happened. First, he felt suddenly like the paw would never work for him again, and that he must passit on as soon as possible. It was as if it wanted to go to someone else. Second, the entire base was back to normal. Finally, he remembered vividly, on one of his birthdays, he blew out the candles and wished that one day he would have a small, happy family. That wish had come true. He ran to a phone and called his family. There was no answer.

One month later, Sergeant Major Morris was permitted to go home. The first thing he did was look for his family before giving up. They were gone. It was as if they had never existed. The next thing he did was half unintentional. He had heard a couple myths from the natives about the monkey paw. Now he was prepared to give it to someone and tell them how it worked. It was a good thing, too, because after his last wish, his need to pass it on only increased. Here was his chance. He found himself walking up the long driveway to his good friend, Mr. White's house. He knocked on the door.